


Return to Camelot (With a Side of Fries)

by Psychoctopus



Series: Working 9 to 5 (The Fate/Zero Way) [2]
Category: Fate/Zero
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 05:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4551900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychoctopus/pseuds/Psychoctopus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To aid his master's financial troubles, Lancelot finds work at his place of origin: the Round Table.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Return to Camelot (With a Side of Fries)

Kariya was struggling, but that should come as no surprise. This time however, his physical pain took second place on his list of worries to financial concerns. Despite his troubles, he still retained enough pride left that he refused to follow the crowd and join the expanding list of masters sending their servants into the workforce. He made an executive decision to not have Berserker do anything that didn't involve either a.) killing things or b.) yelling something along the lines of "YARGHHHHH" as he smashed various things into a pulp.

On the other hand, Lancelot, when not doing either of above said things, was actually concerned over his master's wellbeing. Although he wasn't able to say it (or show it for that matter), Lancelot felt pity for the poor boy. Given that Kariya had no family to look after him and the young master sure as hell didn't look after himself, Kariya spent a lot of his days in the back of alleyways, dirty, malnourished, fatigued, and in a significant amount of pain. Lancelot knew that his master would need all the support he could get, so he set off on a quest to provide him with the means to live more sustainably. He believed it would be a simple, unexciting quest, but as he traveled, he suddenly came across his destiny. 

He couldn't believe his eyes, but there it was before him, his legendary home of old: The Round Table! (conveniently enough, he missed the sign underneath saying hamburgers, fries, and shakes). Much to the shock of those dining within and the employees laboring behind the counter, Lancelot entered the establishment in full armor, too excited to clue in on the fact that a raised sword was probably not the best of ideas.

Roaring with excitement he fell to his knees and exclaimed joyously "Camelot! I have finally returned to my home!" 

Customers froze with food halfway to their lips, and the employees frantically pressed the security button hoping that the insane man on the floor would soon be escorted away.

At that exact moment the manager, a stoner with a hidden passion for all things RPG, flipped over the counter and took Lancelot's hands into his own. "Dude, that's like, the coolest knight costume I've ever seen! You have to work for us! People will come from miles around to bear witness to your awesomeness!"

Lancelot could not believe his luck; already he was being offered a job in his dream location. He nodded assent to the manager and asked, "What work will I be doing?"

"Well, you'd definitely be doing some advertising. Could you flip and/or work the fryer?"

Despite his armor, which doubtless wasn't there just for looks, Lancelot executed a perfect back flip, "Like so?"

The manager, clearly oblivious to Lancelot's obliviousness, threw his hands up in the air. "You're hired!"

Lancelot grinned, "When do I start?"

Despite the nervous glances of his underlings, the manager cheerily exclaimed, "Today! There's no time to lose!"

"As you say. I will not let you down." With these words, Lancelot followed the manager into the back to learn the basics of his new trade.

* * * * *

Typically, Lancelot started out his day with a few hours of standing outside as a human advertisement, occasionally threatening cars to drive into the parking lot if business was particularly slow. During the hottest hours of the day, the manager brought him inside so he didn't bake inside his suit of armor. Once inside, Lancelot became an expert at preparing and serving burgers with his own unique flare; even if he was using a battle ax as a spatula, no one had the guts to call him out on it. The manager was thrilled with whatever he did, and made sure that Lancelot always had a hefty paycheck.

For the mad knight, earning his weekly paycheck was as not an issue in the slightest. Now getting said paycheck to his master without blowing his cover was an entirely different matter on its own. Kariya may have a few screws loose up in that head of his, but he most definitely wasn't stupid. Lancelot knew that Kariya would never accept money from him, but if he found money "coincidentally" he would take it, and maybe even find hope that his luck was changing. The real trick was finding ways to give Kariya money that would seem like pure chance. 

Lancelot started with the simplest method he could think of. He knew Kariya's usual route like the back of his gauntlet, so he decided that the best course of action was to cash in his check and strategically allocate the money in places Kariya was sure to stop by. This method seemed successful, and if Kariya wondered why all this money had been left on the ground, he didn't question it to his berserk servant. However, Lancelot knew that if this happened repeatedly, Kariya would become suspicious. But for the time being, it most certainly worked and it brought a smile to Lancelot's face to see his master off the streets for a change. Kariya seemed pretty content as well, for he immediately booked a quaint little room at a local inn and ordered dinner for the both of them.

The next week, Lancelot changed his plan up a bit, giving someone money to pretend to be running a game: answer one question right, and win the prize. Of course, he made sure it was a question Kariya would find easy, and soon Kariya was limping away with money in his pocket.

* * * * *

As the weeks rolled by, Lancelot was finding it more and more difficult to be inconspicuous about his side occupation. Not to mention the fact that coming up with new ways to get Kariya the money without rousing suspicions was becoming quite the formidable task all on its own. Just yesterday, Lancelot arranged for a blimp to send out a small parachute attached to a packet of money labeled to Kariya, from a secret admirer. Kariya seemed entirely incredulous, but having no idea who could be behind the message, he let it be for now. 

Towards the end of the week, Kariya would just stare at Berserker, clearly pondering something in that jumbled mind of his. He would shake his head, look away, then look back. He repeated this process about four times before he finally lay down to rest for the night. Lancelot could tell that Kariya was growing suspicious, so he began to prepare his largest scale money transfer to get as much to Kariya as possible before he was found out. 

* * * * *

The next Friday, when Kariya went for his monthly trip to the bookstore to peruse through the photography section, Lancelot followed, money in pocket. As soon as Kariya opened the cover of a new book, confetti flew through the air, noisemakers went off, and a sign dropped from the ceiling saying "Congrats to our ten thousandth visitor!!" Lancelot took advantage of the distraction to stuff the bills amid the pages of the book, so that once Kariya looked down, there it would be: enough money to make a down payment on a house big enough for two. 

Breathless, Kariya stormed out of the store, much to the confusion and bewilderment of those within it. As soon as they were a safe distance away from the bookstore, Kariya turned down an alleyway and summoned Berserker. Surprising them both, Kariya reached out and pulled down his servant by his collar so they were eye-to-visor. "Why?!"

Too startled to speak properly, but too ashamed to muster a full growl, Lancelot spat out the first thing he could manage. "Rawr?" 

"Y-you! You idiot! You jerk! You m-moron . . . I . . . " By this point, tears were forming on the edges of Kariya's eyes. "It's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me . . ."

Faced with his masters' outburst, all of Lancelot's plans for explaining himself flew out of his head, and he stuttered, "I-Iwas j-just trying t-to . . ."

Letting go of Lancelot's collar, Kariya did a full one-eighty, most likely to buy time to wipe away his tears . Then, just barely audible: "Thank you . . . Berserker . . ."

Lancelot finally composed himself, pulling a handkerchief out of some pocket of armor and handing it over to Kariya. "Anything to put a smile on your face . . . master."

Blushing furiously, Kariya snatched the handkerchief out of Lancelot's hand. "Let's go. We've got a house to find. And a Holy Grail to win."


End file.
